Every year around the end of December I get the itch to write. I have started like 12 blogs. I’m GREAT at starting them! I love setting everything up and coming up with a creative idea. They all have their own colors and logos and things, but I’m a graphic designer, so that’s what I do. They all look SUPER cute!
The problem was, and still is, you have to actually write something on them. But you can’t just write anything, not if you want people to read it. You have to really dig down deep, be open and authentic. You have to write about things you don’t even talk about, sometimes with tears streaming down your face.
That’s the reason for writing in the first place though right? It’s a place to express your thoughts and fears without actually having to say them. It’s a place to work them out as much as express them too. I find that I have to think about things and then write about them before I can really start to figure them out. What’s that saying about you don’t really know something until you can explain it to someone else? It’s true.
I’m getting ready to do my first podcast interview this weekend and am super intimidated. All those feelings of being a fraud and a fake are right at the top, about to boil over. I’m so scared that everyone is going to jump up and say “Wait a minute! You have NO IDEA what you are talking about! Why are you even talking?”
This ugly demon has a name though. It’s called impostor syndrome. I’ve been told that a lot of people have it. Even the people that I look up to feel this way. Even some of the most amazing and successful people in the world feel this way. It’s comforting to know that. It helps to keep going, to keep writing, to push the publish button and share with the world.
As an INFJ I’ve always felt like I was different from everyone that I knew. There aren’t very many people that I connect with. Very few people have ever understood my feelings when I have tried to explain them. Some will listen, some will try to understand, but very few have experienced things that I have experienced or look at things the way that I do.
I don’t think that I have ever met another INFJ, though I must confess I don’t spend a lot of time typing people. I only type people I obsess about, usually cute guys that catch my attention and have no idea I’m gently stalking them. What was the point… oh! I don’t type people. I just look at their confused faces when I try to explain intuition. They ask me if I’m psychic with a skeptical look. I mentally confirm they are not my people and move on.
Blogging has changed my life in so many ways. Here are just a few:
1. It helped me find my voice
When I started this blog I had no idea what to write or how to write it. I’ve always been more of a math person than a writer. But I knew that if I could just do it then I would get better. So I started. I was scared and the first few posts are messy (I would not recommend reading them), but as the weeks and the months wear on I think it’s getting better. I’m certainly more comfortable.
2. I found my passion
I’ve spent my whole life feeling like I am supposed to be doing something really special, but not really being sure that that something was. I finally found it. I realize this is what I am supposed to do every time I get a comment on a blog or an Instagram post like this:
“Just found your page and I am in love!! Always felt I could not describe the way I moved through life and thought I was just weird. But after finding out more after the MBTI about being INFJ, it was so comforting. Keep doing what you’re doing🙏🏻”
“Your posts are so relatable thank you so much. A really good page when you don’t have anyone how understands you ♡”
“I’ve been following your page for a month or two now and I love your posts. I honestly never related to things more than what you post. I didn’t know other people were like me in that way, I thought something was wrong with me. I kinda feel like I belong in someway now, thank you for that ❤️❤️”
I have always been a pseudo counselor for my friends and family. I think all INFJs fall into this role. We have this natural ability to see many sides to situations and to want to help people work things out. It just makes sense for me to be in a position where I can help a lot of people at the same time. I can’t think of any better work than helping INFJs feel heard and appreciated and loved.
3. It gave me goals
I need goals. This has always been a thing with me. I loved school because everything had clear instructions and a due date. I really excelled in college because same. But then I got out of college and was lost. No deadlines, no goals, just work day after day after day. I realized that I had to create my own goals.
This blog has helped me hold myself accountable to my goal. I set a goal to write one blog post a week. Surely I could sit down for one hour a week and write about something… right? It’s more difficult than I had thought some weeks.
Sometimes life just gets in the way and somehow Tuesday turns into Friday which turns into Monday again in a FLASH. I set the goal of posting a new blog every Monday because I thought it would give me the weekend to get them written. Turns out I’m more productive during the week actually. If my blogs are posted before Monday that means they were written on Monday morning. But I haven’t missed a week yet and I’m super proud of myself for that!
4. I gained confidence
Speaking of being proud of myself… confidence is something that I have always struggled with. So many people have told me that I needed it, but they couldn’t tell me where to get it.
But that feeling of belonging and accomplishment has really helped me step up my confidence. It’s like I’m setting out to do this really difficult thing and it just keeps getting better and better, even more than what I had imagined.
It also helps so much to know that I am not alone or weird all by myself. It helps me to know that there are others out there like me to own who I am.
5. I found my people
One of the best benefits of starting a blog was and is meeting so many INFJs! It’s so amazing to hear people say “I do that too!” and “I know how you feel!” I finally found the people out there who are just like me! I’m not alone anymore. I know where to go when I am feeling lost and confused and out of place! It’s right here!!!
I’ve been searching for that feeling of acceptance for a long time. Not only do I feel accepted in a community now, but I feel like it’s ok to accept myself as well.
Should you start a blog?
A lot of people ask me for advice about starting a blog. I can tell you it certainly not for everyone. It’s not easy to pour your heart out all the time. It’s not easy to put everything out there like that. But it is almost therapeutic sometimes.
I think every INFJ has something special to share with the world. Even if you are writing about marketing or painting or your favorite Netflix series, it’s a great way to be creative and express yourself. It’s also a great way to connect with other people who have the same interests as you. AND you don’t have to go outside or talk to anyone if you don’t want to!
It’s been a wonderful experience for me and I would certainly suggest that you give it a try. Set a goal to write once a week, every week for 12 weeks and see what happens. You never know!