Intuition is a powerful tool that’s even more powerful for INFJs. Highly intellectual people are more likely to ignore their intuition and instead rely on logic and rationality, but this leaves us open to making some of the worst decisions possible.
INFJs often make bad choices when we avoid what our intuition is telling us. We ignore our inner voice. We rely so much on reason, or feeling or other people’s advice that our intuition seems to disappear altogether.
It’s easy for us all, regardless of intelligence level, to get stuck in what feels safe rather than challenging ourselves with growth opportunities – but we have so much potential as INFJs if we’re willing to listen, if we’re willing to lean into that small voice and be vulnerable.
How can you tap into your intuition instead? How can you get in tune into your inner guide so that you can use it as a tool to help you in your everyday life? That’s why we’re here right now! Keep reading…
Avoidance is a very real thing
I have a feeling that you’ve been there. You know, when you’re feeling really stuck about a big decision when the anxiety is so high and your mind is so focused on avoiding what it’s afraid of, that it can’t even handle reality. I’m not talking about avoidance in general but instead avoidance as a defense mechanism for anxiety and fear, a running away from your inner guide.
I don’t know about you, but I avoid things all the time. And it’s not just good things that I’m avoiding. It’s bad or challenging things too: emails from my boss, a difficult conversation with my partner, an argument with a friend, that diet change that I know I need to make. What do they have in common? They are all uncomfortable to deal with and can create feelings of anxiety when we think about them – which is why we often put them off for later.
But that’s not the whole story. Sometimes avoidance is more than a defense mechanism for anxiety and fear: it can be an existential crisis in disguise.
We’re constantly going through some kind of existential crisis
Awe the ever-present existential crisis. I always have one going on and 2 or 3 on the back burner. There’s always something that is filling me with complete and total dread. There’s something that’s bigger than me that I can’t control and therefore feel the need to worry about extensively until there’s something bigger to worry about.
Sometimes all that worry is just a distraction. This might sound crazy, but consider how much time we spend focused on avoiding what we’re afraid of because our mind believes it will hurt us or make things worse. We would rather live with this sense of dread about everything bad that could happen to us than actually face those fears and move beyond them – even though they are often just thoughts coming from deep down inside ourselves.
We know exactly what we need to do. We have a special gift that will tell us exactly what to do, if we’ll just listen.
Work & perfectionism or addiction & self-destruction
So many times instead of facing our problems, we focus on something else. We turn our attention to work or ourselves, looking for something that’s perfect, focusing all of our efforts on fixing our supposed flaws instead of on what’s in front of us – the thing we’re avoiding.
I know many people who are perfectionists, using work to fill up the gaps that they don’t want to focus on inside themselves – or others who work for so long and have such a hard time letting go because it feels like life is going by without them.
Addiction can look really different than this but when you live with addiction it often has similar patterns: looking at something other than your present reality as an escape from painful feelings that might not even be true anymore; focusing all your energy into proving yourself right instead of healing.
It’s possible these things, both perfectionism and addiction, can become self-destructive because we’re trying to distract ourselves from facing the truth about how we feel. Some intuitives have difficulty recognizing these patterns in their lives. It can be difficult to trace the route of addiction because it may feel like you’re just doing what is necessary to get by.
And when we don’t recognize these patterns, the messages in our minds are louder and more persistent; this leads us into a spiral of shame and feeling like there is no hope whatsoever.
I’ve been there. I’ve lived there, in that terrible stuck and hopeless feeling for so long. It took me way too long to realize that I had everything I needed to get out of that feeling.
Intuition as a superpower
As INFJs, we have this amazing function called Introverted Intuition. Things just come to us. We just know things. And we don’t know how, but we do. When we combine that function with our secondary function, Extroverted Feeling, we just know things about other people. We like focusing on other people because it’s easy. It’s natural. And it doesn’t cause us any uncomfortableness or anxiety.
It’s a lot more difficult for us to focus our intuition on ourselves. It takes work and practice. It takes tapping into our lesser-used functions and being present and aware of ourselves enough to focus on what’s going on with us.
Personal growth
Personal growth is uncomfortable, especially for INFJs. We know that growing causes us to be uncomfortable, so we avoid it. We can see the pain coming and feel the fear, so we go the other way. But the thing is, that avoidance only causes more pain. When we fear the discomfort, it grows. And for the INFJ who loves to float through life without noticing how we’re feeling, like me, it can hit you like a ton of bricks when you least expect it. Then what? Burnout, laying on the couch for months on end, feeling hopeless, then eventually confronting the thing anyway. I’ve spent months that way and I don’t want to go there again!
Learning and healing
Intuitive personality types experience times in our lives of great learning and healing. When we are finally ready to stop avoiding and start listening, there are times when the answers just come to us. These are the times when we are in tune with our intuition and we’re letting it lead the way. Everything falls into place and finally makes sense!
So how do you get to this place of learning and healing? I’ve spent a lot of time trying different things. The thing that has helped me the most is taking dedicated time of my day for meditation, affirmations and writing down my thoughts and feelings. I’ve noticed when I take this time for myself that I learn to be still and listen more. I’m more focused on being led rather than leading that way.
If you’re ready to tune into your intuition more and get the answers to the questions you’ve been struggling with, check out my 30 day Tune Into Your Intuition Challenge.
